Expectations reduce joy. Aspirations attract it.
Sometimes the pain of observing the news, or anxieties as our situations worsen, or just the heaviness of knowing the wider suffering to come, can stifle our ability to feel joy and aspire to what’s wonderful. That isn’t always the case, as collapse acceptance can be very liberating. But even people who have fully integrated their conclusions into their lives, becoming ‘doomsters’, can feel low at times. I think there are some similarities in our romantic lives. Understandably, hurt can close us down, rather than open us up. As the new year beckons, with time off, so the change in the calendar can become a moment for us to reflect on how we might aspire to live. We don’t need to cling to any aspirations, and we don’t need to turn them into expectations. But we can decide that we don’t want to shelter ourselves from potential disappointments. Instead, we can aspire to an equanimity where we can allow excitement and aspiration to flow, unattached to outcome, and undaunted by the certainty that everything we love will disappear one day. I write these lines to remind me of this truth, as much as to share with you.
Continue reading “Aspirations for Life”