Tag: Barefoot Stars

Sacred Fevers – Always One (Om Mani Padme Hum)

jembendell

Sometimes fevers have been a psychological medicine for me. They force me to stop, which eventually makes me reflect on life. But that’s not the only impact. The delirium from a raised body temperature and cytokines involves an altered state of consciousness. Feelings can bubble up and new perspectives appear. Without my fevers, I might not have taken some of the ‘sharp turns’ of direction in my life. That doesn’t mean I welcome illness, for myself or anyone else. But I now recognise that when we get sick we can welcome potential insights from an altered state of consciousness, as a silver lining to what is otherwise a worrying, painful and boring experience. Why people like me need something as dramatic as a high fever to discover new meanings and directions in life is an interesting question. More on that later. But first I want to share with you a few stories of fevers, which led to me writing my latest song: Always One (Om Mani Padme Hum).

My last high fever happened a few days after I had been bitten by a dog. I had been saying goodbye to the head of the Buddhist Temple, and his dog seemed friendly until I responded with a pat on his head (the dog’s). I doused the wound in iodine, bound it, and said goodbye, leaving with a question in my mind about whether they should keep the dog away from the guests. It was an odd way to end a meditation retreat – a reminder of the random ups and downs of life. Later that day I waited with apprehension for a reply to my whatsapp to the Temple office. “Yes, the dog has been vaccinated for rabies” came the reply. When home, I began searching what the disease risks might be and looking up when I’d last had vaccinations for tetanus and rabies. I discovered I was a couple of years past the time when boosters are recommended. I then discovered the good news that tetanus isn’t as bad as I’d thought, whereas rabies is worse – once you have a fever you will certainly die within weeks. Fortunately, there were no signs of infection at the wound site, and I felt fine, so I decided to do nothing; a decision which I’d wonder about later.

Continue reading “Sacred Fevers – Always One (Om Mani Padme Hum)” →

Aspirations for Life

jembendell

Expectations reduce joy. Aspirations attract it.

Sometimes the pain of observing the news, or anxieties as our situations worsen, or just the heaviness of knowing the wider suffering to come, can stifle our ability to feel joy and aspire to what’s wonderful. That isn’t always the case, as collapse acceptance can be very liberating. But even people who have fully integrated their conclusions into their lives, becoming ‘doomsters’, can feel low at times. I think there are some similarities in our romantic lives. Understandably, hurt can close us down, rather than open us up. As the new year beckons, with time off, so the change in the calendar can become a moment for us to reflect on how we might aspire to live. We don’t need to cling to any aspirations, and we don’t need to turn them into expectations. But we can decide that we don’t want to shelter ourselves from potential disappointments. Instead, we can aspire to an equanimity where we can allow excitement and aspiration to flow, unattached to outcome, and undaunted by the certainty that everything we love will disappear one day. I write these lines to remind me of this truth, as much as to share with you.

Continue reading “Aspirations for Life” →

Crazy Cat Lad Makes Music Video

jembendell4 Comments

I have often talked about a ‘tyranny of positivity’ within contemporary environmentalism, whereby we are told that optimism is a moral and practical imperative. That typically comes with the ‘fake green fairytale’ of planetary salvation through electrification. That has been attractive to many environmental professionals (my past self included) as it offers possibility of feeling earnest and earning an income, despite it being a biophysical nonsense. When senior environmental leaders demonise more realistic assessments and associated despair, their ‘moodsplaining’ is promoting deference to power. Instead, for many people, feelings of despair have aided our radicalisation. That’s why an acceptance that modern societies are breaking down due to ecological degradation, amongst other factors, has been transforming people’s lives so we become more socially engaged, not less: becoming ‘doomsters’, as I term us in Breaking Together. More recently, I have wondered if there is a second tyranny in contemporary environmentalism, at least in the Western countries I have most experience of. It is a tyranny of piety.

Continue reading “Crazy Cat Lad Makes Music Video” →

Crazy Cat Lad Writes Song

jembendell3 Comments

What kind of music is related to deep adaptation? I wondered this recently. I don’t think it’s music about doom and gloom. Instead, it is anything which invites us to connect with our hearts, remember ancient wisdom, feel gratitude for what has been and still is, accept loss and death as natural, and recommit to conscious living no matter what lies ahead.

With my new band, Barefoot Stars, I’m releasing songs that I wrote from such emotions. ‘Healing Hearts‘ is about allowing endings with the knowledge something new will emerge. My latest release, ‘Mystical Cat‘ is not only about a deeper appreciation of nature, as reflected in our pets, but also about the significance of life not depending on its duration (you need to wait for the 3rd verse to hear that though). I wrote the song the night Amy died. She was a rescue kitten, adopted from Villa Kitty in Bali. She was the first non-human creature I met who had a sense of humour, not just play. Getting to know her opened my mind and heart to the depth of thought and emotion that’s possible in life other than human. That paved the wave for me to rescue a black kitten from the Brahma Vihara Temple, and he accompanied me during a reclusive 21 months when I wrote and released Breaking Together.

Continue reading “Crazy Cat Lad Writes Song” →

How do I sustain myself in these times?

jembendell1 Comment

In recent Q&As, I have been asked how I sustain myself in these times. To understand my reply, you would need to understand my outlook on the future. I think a process of the collapse of modern societies has begun, and that catastrophic loss of life will occur on all populated continents in the years to come. If I live another twenty years, I would be witnessing that disaster unfolding. That is the context for my choices over the past five years.

I think I can’t plan to realistically avoid societal collapse myself but can try to avoid some of the early pain. That involves choices about where and how to live (moving to Indonesia). I also want to help soften the crash in the area I intend to live (through an organic farm school and other projects). I no longer believe I can contribute much to systemic changes that would reduce harm at scale (which was the motivation of my previous career). But I don’t want to give up on that entirely, due both to my sense of responsibility, as well as my relevant skills, experience, professional status, and network (so I wrote a book, and still blog and teach). Aside from these matters of personal security and contribution to society, I have felt a strong desire to live more lovingly and creatively than I did in the past, which has led to me becoming a musician and meditation retreat leader.

Continue reading “How do I sustain myself in these times?” →