“I wanted to punch the guy, but when I realised I couldn’t do that, I just switched off.”
This was certainly a new kind of response to giving a speech. I’d just left the stage at a conference on adaptation to climate change, and was surrounded by people wanting to exchange a few words and contact details. “You really stimulated the audience, as we hoped you would,” one of the organisers said, smiling as he told me of the guy who liked my views so much that he wanted me to connect with his knuckles.
I’d already heard enthusiastic praise from another organiser, so I reacted to the negative feedback in dismissive fashion. “Anger is a way of responding to difficult information, situations and emotions. It gets us out of fear,” is more or less what I said. I continued with my mini lecture by saying “Fight or freeze are two normal responses to fear. It’s why I talked about the benefit of getting better with allowing, witnessing and working through difficult emotions. It’s also why we must recognise so much of our conversation in professional circles is to avoid conflict and emotional difficulty, using convenient narratives, that stop us from facing reality.” This all tripped off my tongue because being intellectual and slightly combative is my go-to response when under threat. However, I’m writing this essay because I was on the cusp of noticing that go-to response, and chose a different way to engage when experiencing conflict. If you also navigate strong emotions about the state of our world, I hope the following thoughts may be of use.
Continue reading “Holding Space for Strong Emotions”
